Why is my mother able to bond with my sibling and not me?

December 12, 2016


Older siblings get more total-immersion mentoring with their parents before younger siblings come along.  As a result, they get an IQ and linguistic advantage because they are the focus of their parents’ attention - Jeffrey Kluger 


You might well be wondering why your mother has a better relationship with a sibling or how each of you can have a completely different view of her.  Many of the case studies in Mothers and Daughters have shared that their mothers appeared to show more love towards a brother or sister, declaring they felt insignificant in the pecking order of who received most love from mum. 


Every child needs and deserves love and it’s interesting to find out how much love was available when there was more than one child who wanted mum’s attention.

Siblings often experience their mothers differently. 



Take into account the following situations, to gain awareness into your personal situation and circumstances:

  • The age of your mother and her experience of motherhood at the time of your conception and thereafter

  • Her emotional and physical health during and after pregnancies

  • Variations in her pregnancies (environmental factors as well as personal situation)

  • Birth traumas and/or separation at birth

  • The sex of your sibling

  • The time span between births of each child

  • Your health and the health of your siblings as baby or child

  • Whether you and your siblings were planned or unplanned

  • Your mothers living situation and financial position

  • The level of support your mother had with child raising

  • The father of your sibling

  • Your perception of your mother giving you love, verses the perception of your sibling receiving her love

If your mother is still alive, it will be interesting to find out how she experienced her pregnancies, how her life circumstances may have been different in each situation and how she felt about herself during the time she carried you and later on raising you, your brothers and sisters or step-family. 


If you need any help and support in understanding your relationships please do make contact at www.mothersanddaughters.solutions

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