Love - Are you getting enough?

May 31, 2017

Use the love and relationship inventory offered here for personal reflection and awareness about the relationships you have with significant others.






Mentally record or write down your answer YES or NO or True/Untrueand be aware of your emotional responses and memories which pop into your mind as you read through each question



I have a preconceived vision of love and relationships and how they ‘should’ be



Love needs to be a certain way for me to be happy



I offer love based on conditions



I believe love can only be experienced by receiving it from another



I think it is selfish to love myself.  It is my mother’s (or another’s) responsibility to love me



I question and judge the actions of others instead of being in the flow of love



I spend time worrying I’m not getting enough love



I believe the past will repeat itself and I’m scared of getting hurt



I put love outside of myself rather than taking responsibility to give love to myself  



I believe if I love someone, their love may be stolen or taken away from me



I believe I am unlovable or unworthy of love



I lose my self identity when I’m in a relationship



I fear being rejected in relationships



I expect love to be like one of the fairy tales I read as a child



I gain my self-worth and value through others’ validation of me



My sense of security is only present when I’m in a relationship



I am dependent on others for love



Other people have better relationships than me



I don’t know how to love myself



I end relationships before I have given them a chance to blossom



I sabotage my future hopes by not having a relationship and ‘playing safe’



I put other people’s feelings ahead of my own



I need to be loved to feel complete



I want to be close to someone, but I’m afraid of being vulnerable



It feels scary to open up to another person and be intimate



It feels safer to be out of a relationship than in one



I don’t know who I am outside of a relationship



My happiness depends on being in a relationship



My emotional wellbeing depends on another person’s validation of me



I feel like a ‘nobody’ unless somebody loves me



I am desperate to be loved



I will close off my love, unless I get 100% love back from the other person



When I don’t get what I want from a relationship, I feel cheated and let down



I try to change the people I am in a relationship with



When a relationship ends, I feel like a failure



When I’m by myself I don’t feel like a complete person



I feel empty and alone when I’m not in a loving relationship



I am preoccupied with negative relationships from the past



Without a relationship, my life would be empty and meaningless



I’m frightened of being alone for the rest of my life



I can’t stand on my own two feet without someone to lean on



If I’m in a relationship I’m on alert and expect things to go wrong



I have never got what I wanted from relationships



I look for evidence that I’m unlovable



When I’m in a love relationship, I look for all the flaws in my partner and the relationship itself



I cling to hopes and dreams of a relationship working out, even though I know it’s best for me to leave



I don’t seem to exist outside of a relationship



I go into relationships blindly, it’s better to be in one than alone



I feel alone and unhappy when I’m in a relationship



I look for signs my relationships will not work out



It feels unsafe for me to be totally myself and share all of myself in a relationship



I drift from relationship to relationship, I have never spent time alone



In relationships I become totally dependent on the other person to provide my happiness



I go into relationships for the wrong reasons



There must be something wrong with me if I’m not in a relationship



I constantly think about negative experiences in previous relationships



I feel like I can’t move on from negative relationships from the past



I put all my energy into my relationship and leave nothing for me



I’m afraid I will never be loved



I feel insignificant  and worthless outside of a relationship



Life only has meaning if I’m in a relationship



I feel more real in a relationship



I need someone else to complete me



I feel incomplete or off-balance when I’m not in a relationship



I don’t trust anyone enough to share my feelings openly



I am afraid of being honest or assertive in relationships



I avoid having a relationship because I fear the physical or verbal violence they sometimes bring



I am afraid I will have to give up my family, career, hobbies etc if I have a relationship



I put my own needs last in a relationship



I find it hard to communicate my needs in a relationship



I don’t know who I am or what I want in a relationship



I put up with unacceptable behaviour and hope the other person will change



I hide who I am in a relationship, in case I am not accepted, disapproved of or rejected




Read through your answers.  For every yes, reflect on where your beliefs come from, how old you were when you formed this belief, how does having this belief limit you in adulthood?  What thoughts, actions, beliefs and behaviours can you alter to change your future outcomes. 


If you'd like the book and paper based resource of the inventory go to Mothers and Daughters: The guide to understanding and transforming the relationship with you mother


Deeper work may be required for those of you who have marked mostly yes and it is recommended you find a reputable therapist to support you in understanding your behaviours and beliefs.   Please contact me direct at  for further help and support

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Please reload

Featured Posts
Recent Posts

February 14, 2018

February 6, 2018

January 30, 2018

Please reload

Please reload

Search By Tags
Please reload

© 2018 Wendy Fry

Relationship Support |  Conflict Resolution | Trauma Support | Relationship Problems | Stress and Anxiety Management | Emotional Overwhelm | EFT | Emotional Freedom Technique | Matrix Reimprinting |

Wendy Fry Author of Mothers and Daughters & Find YOU, Find LOVE

Privacy Policy