Projection in Your Personal Relationships
Inside every daughter is a longing for a place which feels like home.
Without the safety and security of a home, whether it be purely an emotional home where you can share your true self, or a physical home in a place where you feel whole, many woman have shared with me that they have a sense of feeling adrift in the world, un-tethered, empty, lost and alone. With the feeling of uncertainty in our lives, we might project false beliefs into our relationships, believing they are not quite right, finding fault instead of focusing on what's working well. We may feel something is missing and ask for more than can realistically be given, what we often seek for is our mothers love and the missing events in our lives which never came to pass.
In my client work many daughters have shared with me they go from relationship to relationship, the next being just like the last. They feel isolated, lonely and not considered. The yearning to be loved continues along with a deep river of fear of not being loved, running under every relationship interaction. Perhaps you too have found yourself repeating patterns and falling in love with the wrong type, attracting significant others who reflect your own unmet needs or who are similar to your mother in terms of behaviour, personality and manner.
Some daughters prefer to be single rather than risk being vulnerable in a relationship. Others may project their unmet needs onto bosses, friends, co-workers and colleagues. Many do not recognise they are doing this by trying to get their needs met from other sources. In many cases, it can be our bosses, friends and colleagues who match how our mothers respond to us and the relationship cycle of not getting our needs met filters into all life areas. For others, it is those very friends, co-workers and associates who make up for lack of mother love.
It’s difficult for daughters who feel unloved, to sooth and comfort themselves if they have been lacking in the mother love department. It’s not until we are able to mother ourselves and meet our own needs, we find ourselves no longer choosing the wrong relationships or sabotaging the ones we have.
If you wish to understand how you relate in relationships and why they aren't working as well as they could be I invite you to read Find YOU, Find LOVE and Mothers and Daughters. Within the wisdom shared, you will begin to find that place inside of you where love resides and never ends.
Please do contact me when you feel ready to address your relationship issues at a deeper level, I have a range of support programmes to meet your needs.
Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others do and say is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering - Don Miguel Ruiz