Anger is something many people do not like to experience. Even more so being on the receiving end of your mothers anger.
As discussed in the previous two blog posts anger is a healthy emotion if used wisely. It's also worth noting anger can be released in healthy ways such as use of Energy EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and EMO (Energy in Motion) Please do contact me when you're ready to experience these stress management techniques to put you back in control of managing overwhelming emotions.
Getting back to managing your mother's anger, who is she really? What do you know about your mother as a person, not just as your mother?
Consider the negative events of your mother’s life and how her experience may have led to her own, unresolved emotions of anger:
· What experiences from your mother’s past are you aware of which may have made her angry?
· How does she express her anger?
· Is it possible there are things from your mother’s past you don’t fully know about?
· From whom did she learn about anger and the expression or non-expression of it?
· What are the possible benefits if you were able to ask her more about her past, in order to understand your own anger and hers?
· What area of your life do you keep private from her in fear of her expressing anger towards you?
· Do you know if your mother had an abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth, lost a sibling or her own parents - which may have put her into a perpectual bereavement, loss and anger cycle?
· What were the choices your mother was forced to make in her past which may have made her angry?
· What are the traumas she has experienced or witnessed which have left a residue of anger and which remain unresolved for her?
· Has your mother suffered physical, emotional or sexual abuse?
· Has your mother had any physical, mental or emotional health problems?
· Has she been divorced, separated or widowed?
· Thinking about the latter questions (all of which would have been traumatic) how might these experiences have shaped her life and her ability to show love?
· What's the best that can happen if you told your mother you are not comfortable with her angry outbursts though you wish to understand her better and find out what causes her to be angry?
By sharing openly with each other and finding out more about your mother’s past and what has made her angry whether it has been expressed or not, gives both mother and daughter an opportunity to heal and re-build fragmented and disagreeable relationships.
It’s time to end the war against anger by welcoming it and expressing it in safe ways. Read more about coming to terms with the relationship with your mother and her anger in my second book Mothers and Daughters: The guide to understanding and transforming the relationship with your mother
You can read additional upcoming blog posts about getting naked with your feelings and the whole range of human emotions. Previous blog posts discuss anger in more detail as well as when anger turns inward and lead to depression.
You may like to listen to 'Negative Memory Release' which is free for all to enjoy, download and save to use at times when the going gets tough and additional guided meditations with a hypnotic and therapeutic approach to manage your emotions.
If you'd like some one to one personal support please do make contact to discuss your support programme to get you back on track to living a joy filled life.