Healing the Hurts Within
Your Inner Child is the most important person in the world. Our truth and our answers are within us all. When you commit to making some time for your personal growth, change can happen. Trusting the process and doing the inner work will not only serve your inner child, in addition, the person you are today and the person you are becoming.
Dominant vs. Non-dominant Handwriting
Your dominant hand is the hand you write with (this side represents your adult/responsible side). For this exercise, I invite you to write the questions you would like answers to with your dominant hand and then answer all questions with the non-dominant hand. Responses from the non-dominant side can come from various aspects of your child self (the toddler, teenager as well as the emotions of the inner child i.e. angry, happy, sad etc.)
Children only need a few words to express themselves. How your inner child communicates back with you may vary, either saying little or saying a lot depending on the questions asked.
You can begin as follows:
· Ask your inner child’s name
· How do they feel today? (Do they feel good, sad, happy, mad etc.?)
· Let them know you love them
· Ask if they would like to play today
· How old is that part of you which is emotionally stuck ?
· Ask them what it is they don’t like about their childhood and early experiences etc?
· Ask them what they need right now
· What did they need back then
· How can you meet your inner child’s needs as an adult now?
· Make time to acknowledge your inner child, listen to them and help them to heal the hurt places within
Writing a series of questions like this will become easier the more you work with your inner child. The answers you write in response to the questions may surprise, upset or enlighten you. Accept all the answers without judgement.
As adults we can react in many different ways to our inner child. We might be the critical parent, teacher, caregiver or coach. Getting into the habit of speaking to your inner child in a soothing, lovingly supportive, encouraging and caring way supports the inner child. The inner child will then feel more visible which will help them to speak up and let feelings out. If needs be, allow the inner child to tell the critical parent voice how she feels, as the parent may not be aware.
It is important in this kind of work to keep communications open between you and your younger self. Be sure to make special plans after any kind of self-development work to reward your inner child by doing something fun.
Whatever your experiences of your life, you must accept yourself and the child within. Please know, you have already come such a long way on your journey and will continue to build on the progress you have made so far.
What were the missing events and unmet needs in your life as a child?
Using the chart below, record what you feel was missing from your life and be sure to make up for lost time by giving your inner child now, what they needed back then.
· Physical touch
Add your own needs to the list and be sure to give to yourself and your inner child, the time, love and attention you were missing in childhood. If you're interested in learning new processes to speed up the results of healing I offer a range of training courses detailed right here
Never make your home in a place. Make a home for yourself inside your own head. You’ll find what you need to furnish it - memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things. That way it will go with you whenever you journey - Tad Williams
It is only you who knows your needs and how to love yourself completely. The deep inner work offers introspection and you learn the fundamentals of making yourself feel whole. Working through abandonment, trust issues, anger, grief, guilt and the whole range of human emotions in relation to your childhood experiences offers the opportunity to let go of the emotional overwhelm and create space for something new.
Re-parenting ourselves and becoming our own inner parents fills the void with love, self-care, awareness, reflection, wisdom and most of all, possibility. When roles reverse, instead of looking outside ourselves for love we are able to parent ourselves and find new ways to satisfy our needs by doing the things we enjoy and also making the time to care for ourselves.
Whatever you missed out on while you were growing up, you can now give to yourself. Your inner child is waiting and welcomes your love, time and care.
If you need some support and guidance in this area and want to come to terms with the past making the future a happier place to be, please do make contact to discuss your needs and tailored options to get you back on track to living a happier life.
When we practice self-compassion, we look after ourselves just as though we are nurturing a small child. In fact a major part of grieving our original pain work (so that we can heal and be emotionally liberated) is to re-parent ourselves and reconnect with our inner child - Christopher Dines