No matter how imperfect your relationship with your mother is or how flawed, your mother gave you the gift of life. It’s down to you to achieve your dreams and fulfil your life’s purpose independent of her. Whether you have experienced rejection, being ignored, intimidated, isolated, corrupted, exploited or felt unloved, your past need not influence your future. Put your focus in the now, plan for your future, take action, be open to new experiences, look ahead as to what else is possible. Shape your life into what you want it to be. You are the creator of your destiny.
You, yes you, are the missing piece of the puzzle. Whatever your unmet childhood needs, you have the capacity as an adult daughter to meet the needs of your younger self. If you felt rejected, look for the situations in your life now where you are accepted. If you were ignored, be sure to give to yourself your undivided attention to meet your needs. If you were intimidated, notice how resilient you are now in terms of having got this far. If you felt isolated, stretch yourself and get involved with projects where you connect with like-minded people. If you were exploited, how can you learn from and use your experience to improve your future and the future of others?
Reflect on the following questions and make changes where necessary to add more joy to your life
· What do I want?
· What is working well in my life right now?
· What do I want more of?
· How do I want my life to be in six months time, a year from now, in five years and ten years time?
· What actions can I start taking now which will bring me closer to my goals?
· What can I do daily, weekly, monthly which brings more joy and love to my life?
· To experience more balance in my life, what do I need to start doing, stop doing and do differently?
· To experience more love in my life, what limiting beliefs do I need to let go of?
· In order to be my best self what’s the one thing I can begin with today?
· In recognition of my ‘inner child’ how can I show her the time, love and encouragement she deserves as the adult version of herself?
· What would I say to the younger version of me right now?
· By continuing to give to myself my own love, how will this benefit me in the future?
· What behaviours, beliefs and actions do I hold myself accountable for to make my future the best it can be?
· Knowing I am changing my future by changing my thoughts followed by actions, how can I best serve myself today?
A daughter is a gift of love - author unknown
As with any puzzle there are many pieces which make a picture complete. It could be after working through Mothers and Daughters you and your mother are able to become friends, in which case you can review your mutual puzzles and decide what you want to create for the future. Relationships do not always need to go back to the same shape; we can change them at any time. When the puzzle is complete there is always a sense of satisfaction. For further help and support go to www.mothersanddaughters.solutions
Check out the range of free downloadable and audio resources sent to you over 60 days straight to your inbox when you subscribe
* Free chapter - Welcome to the Journey of You
* EFT Quick Start Guide (Emotional Freedom Technique)
* Mothers and Daughters Q&A
* Love and Relationship Inventory
* Guided Relaxation - Negative Memory Release
* The Spotlight Process
* Power Questions
* Who Am I? Exercise
* 10 Steps to Setting Healthy Personal Boundaries
* A Time for Healing
On a final note as I draw towards a close to this series of blog posts transformation is a process, be the change you wish to see....
Personal Life-long Transformation
How does one become a butterfly she asked pensively. You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar - Trina Paulus
Your mother is the link to the legacy you leave behind. How you choose to use your experience of your relationship with your mother can add new meaning to your life as you reflect on what you are able to change and what you can’t.
Personal life-long transformation is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger you get. Making a commitment to yourself to make your past work for you rather than against you, is the greatest gift you could ever give yourself. For your internal ‘inner mother’ to flourish, you must be willing to respect yourself and to know it’s ok to treat yourself with tender loving care and in doing so, accept your own love and positive regard.
It is said we suffer growing pains in our teenage years when our physical bodies change, emotionally we must grow too. Now is the time. Changing from chrysalis to butterfly is no easy feat, though the butterfly knows that in order to fly free from its containment, inner and outer transformation must occur.